There will always be scars.
I was driving down the road today, listening to a song called “Hide” (by Joy Williams). (click here for lyrics) As the words sank in I thought of many people in my life who needed to hear this powerfully honest and encouraging song. One by one, faces came my mind’s eye of people who are so dear to me who I thought might be encouraged by the lyrics. Then there was a thought that blindsided me. It was so real…so powerful…it was nearly audible. The words were “you need this song.”
I fought it at first but then finally yielded to the truth of the matter. As the sobs shook my body I wondered at all of this. I thought I was done grieving the loss of innocence. Apparently I was not.
The anger at the loss, at the injustice of the circumstances I experienced washed over me like a flood. I was briefly confused by this new wave of pain…I thought I was healed. I was done with the pain and the anger and the sobbing over something that happened years ago and can never be undone. It’s done, it’s over. I am healed....aren't I?
More words came…"the wound is healed…but there will always be a scar there.” It's becoming clear to me that the ugliness will never fade completely. At least not until I receive my new body in Heaven. : )
Oh what joy fills my heart at the thought of all the baggage gone…all the bad memories erased…days filled with laughter and joy at the seeing of old friends and the worshipping of the Lord who has restored us all.
The One who has made new what was broken as a result of sin.
Captives who were set free, never to be imprisoned again.
Oh…come Lord Jesus…we are so ready to leave behind the pain forever!
In the meantime…I have found a portion of scripture that seems applicable to my situation.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Even Christ, the Son of God, had to endure the pain this world inflicts. It is through this endurance that He completed the Salvation work only He could achieve. In this great work we have found a hope that is beyond measure.
The pain is temporary…the joy is forever.
*an added thought after first post*
I have often wished that I wasn't so "broken" or scarred...I sometimes felt that my husband got a raw deal because we did not know the whole depth of the brokenness when we married. However, tonight I was wrestling with the whole scar issue...whether or not I can really claim to be healed of a wound when the scarring is so evident. I was reminded that Christ still bears the scars of his crucifixion. He is risen...He is victorious...and He is scarred. Sin did that. Do these scars make Him less valuable or less beautiful? On the contrary, it's because of these very scars that He is the most beautiful and the most precious treasure we could ever hope to hold. Regardless of the scars we end up with as we walk this journey, our value in His eyes and heart does not change.
What a wonder!