Shower thoughts...
     originally written on 26 Jan 2001
Have you ever had inspirational moments in the shower?  I've done some of my best thinking in there.  As a mother of three, opportunities of thoughtful times with no distractions are few and far between.  : )  Problem is, I forget most of those thoughts before I'm fully dressed.  
Today, though, I have remembered some of it.  I was thinking about comparing myself to others.  When I do that, all sorts of things happen.  Sometimes I get too proud, like "at least I'm better than so-and-so" or start thinking I have all the answers.  Or maybe it's more like "I can never be as good as this person or that person" in the things that I do.  That seems to happen more often than the other but neither is good.  I am not accountable to anyone else but the Lord for what I do with my life, time, or the blessings given to me.  I can only do my best each day.  Comparing myself or my lifestyle to others only leads to bad thoughts.  More often than not, for me, it leads to feelings of self-hate.  Some people may judge what I do but, Thank God, I am not under their judgement!  The Lord of Heaven is the only one with the authority to judge my actions, my inactions or my thoughts.  That may be even worse since He alone sees my heart.  He sees the motivation behind everything I do.  The true motivations, whether it is truly kindness to others I seek or a moment of wanting to look good on the outside.  Regardless, He sees it all.  He knows me deeper than I know myself and He loves me.  Loves me enough to have sent His Son to die for my sin so that I may have free access to HIm.  Even before I knew Him, He loved me.  Even knowing all the bad that I would do, He loved me.  All I can do today is my best.  He asks nothing else.  I need to examine all that I  do and ask, "Is this truly the best I can do in this area?"  If not, what do I need to do to make it better?  If so, leave it and don't worry about what others may think.  
We all judge people wrongly.  Why?  Because we cannot know their hearts.  What they are truly feeling or thinking on the inside.  We cannot be everywhere all the time to know what this or that person has done or will do.  I am only accountable for what I do with this day that has been provided to me.  For what I do with the relationships sent my way.  For the opportunities I see and for the way I do things.  No one else is at fault.  No one else if responsible for me.  No one else can judge me justly but God.  A "revelation", of sorts, that is both freeing and convicting.  : )
Thanking God today for His mercy.
~~Shirley

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photograph by: Shirley/North Dakota/May 2004
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