Some people give me funny looks when I refer to God as my “Daddy.”
I’m remembering today…the when and the why…and I’m ready to share it with you.
I remember the day well. We were in Grand Forks, ND…worshipping with our church family there at Cottonwood Community Church.
Much had transpired in my life during our time in Grand Forks…brokenness from different, and very painful, difficult situations…as well as recovery and healing.
But this particular day…I had joy in my heart as I sang along with the band and congregation…I was on a path to healing.
As with many churches, some people raised their hands in worship there, and some did not. I have rarely felt comfortable doing so, but there had been times when I simply could not resist, often when the words we were singing would be talking about raised hands. It just made sense to raise them if you were singing those words. ; )
This time was different though. This was special.
As we sang “God of Wonders” (click here for lyrics) I had my eyes closed so that I had no distractions…fully focused on my Lord…I felt a gentle nudging…and urging in my mind…”lift your hands.”
I obeyed…just as we entered the part of the song that says, “Father, hold me…hold me” and I experienced such a wonder-filled moment that I still struggle with the right words to describe it. I was overwhelmed as I stood there weeping and trying to sing and “seeing” what He was revealing to my heart.
In that instant, in the blink of an eye, I had a vision in my mind of a little girl lifting her arms up to her daddy, wanting him to pick her up.
In that instant, I knew what He was telling me…I knew what He was doing in me.
He stepped into that gaping wound left behind by my fatherless condition. He touched my heart and filled the empty spots that always ached with pain when faced with my situation of not having an earthly dad to run to for advice, comfort, or reassurance.
He stepped into that role of “Daddy” for me.
Since that day, I no longer have those previously gut-wrenching pains when I see the father/daughter precious moments…in movies…in real life…those moments that had always ushered in the painful words of “you never had this… you will never have this.”
I can now watch other daughters enjoying their earthly fathers, without envy or heartache. I can be truly happy for their blessing.
He touched me that day with a reassurance that I am truly “no longer fatherless.”
I have never been the same. : )
**press the play triangle to see the video I made of this song**